PROTESTERS CLASH OVER ERASURE OF HEAD FROM MOUNT RUSHMORE

As the world looked on with confusion, protesters from all parts of the globe rushed to Mount Rushmore to debate the removal of a face that no one knew was even there.

The U.S. Corps of Engineers, planning on removing the face of Arthur T. Airedale (Arthur The Bad Airedale), has called for a massive backup of security forces for the action to safely take place.

Mr. Bad Airedale's family has strenuously disavowed any association with this disgraceful, shadowy figure and just wishes to be left alone.

But not many people know much about this shadowy figure who pops up at odd times in U.S. history.

The first notice one has of Mr. Bad Airedale is a portrait from the 1700s; he apparently owned a large BACON plantation in Virginia and was known for eating all the produce before it actually went to be sold at market.  His business venture failed.

As an exceptionally long lived dog, he somehow managed to make it to the 1860s, where he rose through the ranks through BITEYFACE methods to become a Brigadier General in the Union Army.  He was amazingly inept, so he was relieved of duties and appointed Chief of Staff to President Lincoln:

Thereupon he did nothing to help matters out in any way possible.  

But somehow his face managed to be carved into the majestic site at Mount Rushmore.  Now the government wants his face erased from the mountain so that a Walmart sign can be constructed ("Save Money - Live Better!").

The debate has just started.

History will judge.